The Little Things

Good Sunday evening all. Sorry I did not get the tribute to Huck done this past week. It ended up being a larger job than I had anticipated and I also did not want to rush through it. Huck deserved my full attention and full effort. I did just finish it before moving onto this entry and you can check it out here: TRIBUTE TO HUCK.

It’s been a pretty rough week for me. My heart and mind were finally able to go to the place where his loss was a reality. I will not go on and on about the sadness, but I will explain why he was so incredibly special to me. I don’t believe I have ever told all of you, but in 2012, I had some weird medical conditions going on. The main symptoms were dizziness, fatigue, a lack of will to do much and it felt like someone was pushing my head down when ever I stood up and/or walked. After a TON of Dr’s visits, it was determined that I had developed a form of PSTD due to all of my health problems in the prior years. I was put on a med that helped, but did not cure things completely.

Through the entire period, Huck was there by my side, in the good moments and bad. He would lay on the bed with me for hours, just keeping his body pressed to mine and letting me pet him, hug him or kiss him whenever I wanted. That support from him, as well as the medication were able to ease the symptoms to where I could be functional again. Even though everyday life was pretty much normal again, I would have bouts with the PSTD and depression and Huck was always there to help me through it. He was not a professionally trained therapy dog, but I have no doubt that he was as good or better than any trained dog could have been for me. He could sense when I was down or stressed and was always there.

So this week has been very hard. First in the fact that he really is gone and secondly that I have lost my support. It’s amazing what will trigger the reality that he is gone, waking up and not seeing him on the couch or recliner. Entering the house and not having him meet me with tail wagging at 6500 RPM’s, feeding the dogs and having to stop before I put food in the third bowl, not having him lying across my feet or at my side when I’m relaxing. I could on and on, but suffice to say that everyday life is much, much different for me. At the moment, I feel like a boat drifting in the middle of the ocean, with no wind to help me move forward. I feel very bad for Nora and Gracie because, as hard as I try to be joyful and immersed in our family activity, I know that I am not myself and not giving that joy and involvement that I did previously. 

I will say this: I am very spiritual, I am a fighter and have been through many tough times before and am not afraid to meet this latest challenge. I know that in time, all will be well. I hope and pray that the time is not long. Not for me, but for my family. They too have been through a ton because of my health and they are a support mechanism for me and I will need to open up more to them to receive their love and support. So although I have just painted a rather dark picture, I know things will change. Even just sharing all of this with you has been therapeutic. I just wanted to give you all a heads up as to why Huck was so special and why I miss him so.

On the up side, the weather has finally turned around for us. Monday was still pretty chilly with a high of 48, but then Tuesday we hit 56, Wednesday 63, Thursday 72 and Friday 70. The weekend saw some cooler arrive, but mostly due to a lake breeze. Saturday was 65 and today we have not hit 60 yet and time is running out. Besides the warmer temps, we have seen a ton of sunshine. 

The plants have responded to the sunshine and warmer temps. Buds have burst and the leaves are filling out. They still have around a week, or maybe two in some cases, before they will be fully open, but it is wonderful to see the green returning to the woods. We even cut our grass for the first time this season Friday. Nora and Grace have been busy prepping the beds for flowers and soon they will move to the garden to get them ready to plant the fruits and veggies.

I did not fly the drone this week, but with the weather we have, I expect to be taking flight through it many times the first half of this week. We will be in the upper 70’s to around 80 tomorrow and 70’s for Tuesday and then looks like off and on rain for the end of the week.

I do not think I will be writing next Sunday, as Nora and I will be on our way down to Rochester for my appointments at the Mayo. We will likely be returning on Thursday and I REALLY hope that we know the game plan before we leave. It would be wonderful to have part one of what needs to be fixed done by the time we come home, but I am starting to really believe that the fix will be much more complicated than a simple stenting. I have had Dr’s and cardiologists tell me that the tests they have lined up for me makes them think they are getting the ducks in a row for a transplant. While much harder to recover from than stenting, the result would be awesome! ALL of my heart issues would be GONE! 

I have only one pic to share with you this week. Nora, Grace and I went to our friends beach on Wednesday and as we were headed home, came across this cute little fella. They really are pretty cute, just don’t pet ’em!

Good Night from the Keweenaw..
– JD